I keep hearing this when I tell people that I've been slugging.
It's actually a pretty good question. And hopefully one day I will never find out the answer to.
"Do people smell?"
"You can't talk or touch the windows or anything? Do you really need permission to fart?"
"What if they just kidnap you?"
So far I haven't experienced any of that. What I've experienced is a stress-free ride to work when I am a slug. I spend no money on gas or parking. As a driver, I'm actually a bit more tense because I don't know who is in my car, and I don't want to play the stereo too loud as to upset them; and be one of the people I'm writing about. So I definitely like being a slug as opposed to the driver by 100 times over.
It's funny because etiquette requires slugs to thank drivers when they get in and get out. When they say "thank you" when they get in, it's a bit awkward, because your first reaction is "you're welcome" but I think proper slug etiquette is to thank them back.
Anyways, so far it's been entertaining. Especially so when you have government employees driving to work. So I'm sure I'm going to have plenty of content for this blog.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Kudos to the Tape Player
To the driver of the new model Toyota Camry (it has to be within the last two years at least).
Thank you for keeping the tape player alive. And for being the age of 50. First rocking to Van Halen, then to Enya or something similar to it. I didn't think they made tape players anymore.
I'm not going to work Friday, so no more updates until Monday morning.
Brainwashing through Osmosis?
As I walk up to the Rossyln slug line yesterday, I see a guy waiting in a car with a sign posted on the passenger side door. This guy looks familiar, I think to myself.
And he is.
He was the indvidual with the self-help/motivation/religious cd that was trying to brainwash his slugs. The voice on the cd sounds like one of those voiceovers from the 60's radio shows, but more monotone.
It's the type of brainwashing tape that would play over and over again. Anyways I cringe when I get into the backseat, and wait for a second victim to take the front seat.
The heat level was cranked high, to the point where I couldn't breathe, as we left for the HOV lane near the Pentagon. I went into a vegetative state as I tried to stay awake. If I didn't have the Nano, I would have definitely been brainwashed via osmosis. I felt like I was trying to keep my head out of the water, for some air I could breathe inside the car, and it was excruciating; but I just hoped I didn't conk out and end up in a closet somewhere.
To add insult to injury, after we pull off the interstate; he opens his window and is obviously gasping for air at the light. Then he rolls it up after we start driving again. TURN DOWN THE HEAT, and maybe you can breathe. This further solidifies my conspiracy theory.
Was this the Church's new way of indoctrinating new members into its religion? Getting its members to carpool with people, two at a time, get them to fall asleep in the car, and feed them information through osmosis?
It was a valiant effort but it didn't work.
And he is.
He was the indvidual with the self-help/motivation/religious cd that was trying to brainwash his slugs. The voice on the cd sounds like one of those voiceovers from the 60's radio shows, but more monotone.
It's the type of brainwashing tape that would play over and over again. Anyways I cringe when I get into the backseat, and wait for a second victim to take the front seat.
The heat level was cranked high, to the point where I couldn't breathe, as we left for the HOV lane near the Pentagon. I went into a vegetative state as I tried to stay awake. If I didn't have the Nano, I would have definitely been brainwashed via osmosis. I felt like I was trying to keep my head out of the water, for some air I could breathe inside the car, and it was excruciating; but I just hoped I didn't conk out and end up in a closet somewhere.
To add insult to injury, after we pull off the interstate; he opens his window and is obviously gasping for air at the light. Then he rolls it up after we start driving again. TURN DOWN THE HEAT, and maybe you can breathe. This further solidifies my conspiracy theory.
Was this the Church's new way of indoctrinating new members into its religion? Getting its members to carpool with people, two at a time, get them to fall asleep in the car, and feed them information through osmosis?
It was a valiant effort but it didn't work.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
A synopsis of my first two weeks since this is my third week.
Day 2: This lady drove inches away from the steering wheel. She was really nervous. But she was nice though.
Day 3: I was the driver and the guy that came into my passenger side, thanked me, then asked me if I was Korean. What the hell? I said no and he looked disappointed and put on his headphones. Why are people so disappointed when I'm not from a certain country. Geez.
Day 7: Coming from Rosslyn, I was a slug. This guy had what seemed to be talk radio blaring really loud on the radio. I was wrong. I looked down and saw a cd case with clouds on it. It was a religous self help cd. What a great way for slugs to be brainwashed with no way out for 20 minutes.
Day 8: This other lady drove 55 in a 65 on HOV. I might as well been driving non-HOV, it was so excruciating. I would rather sit in traffic for an hour than drive slower than the speed limit. And she braked while changing lanes. I think I aged 10 years on that ride.
Day 9: I dont' have a noticeable number five other than the funny conversation I had with the AntiChrist in the car (while on my phone AIM); regarding my car ride. Oh well. She said I was going to end up in a ditch. I'm glad she was wrong.
Day 3: I was the driver and the guy that came into my passenger side, thanked me, then asked me if I was Korean. What the hell? I said no and he looked disappointed and put on his headphones. Why are people so disappointed when I'm not from a certain country. Geez.
Day 7: Coming from Rosslyn, I was a slug. This guy had what seemed to be talk radio blaring really loud on the radio. I was wrong. I looked down and saw a cd case with clouds on it. It was a religous self help cd. What a great way for slugs to be brainwashed with no way out for 20 minutes.
Day 8: This other lady drove 55 in a 65 on HOV. I might as well been driving non-HOV, it was so excruciating. I would rather sit in traffic for an hour than drive slower than the speed limit. And she braked while changing lanes. I think I aged 10 years on that ride.
Day 9: I dont' have a noticeable number five other than the funny conversation I had with the AntiChrist in the car (while on my phone AIM); regarding my car ride. Oh well. She said I was going to end up in a ditch. I'm glad she was wrong.
DAY 10: We're not supposed to eat things with hooves
So this morning, I run late and decide to be a slug instead of a driver. There is a long line of cars, and the car behind the head car has no passengers. The first in line driver says "Crystal City" (not my destination, but no one was close to walking up), which is six stops or so away, so I say sure, since he already had a passenger.
This is my first ride where the driver is social; we actually talked. By the way, my car is outside the designated parking area and I hope that I do not get towed.
At the mixing bowl (halfway to the exit for the Pentagon), we see a sign that says, ALL LANES BLOCKED IN HOV AT 14th STREET. All Doom, All Gloom, you name it. I was already late for work, and now the fast lane will probably become a parking lot with no exits out.
So we are chatting and halfway there, he starts talking about a brain worm. Apparently if you eat uncooked pork you get brain worms. And then he shared a story where Jesus pulled a devil spirit out of someone and put it in a pig. And someone asks why he put it in a pig, and he said you're not supposed to eat things with hooves on it. So he was saying even Jesus knew back then eating pork was bad.
Because you could get brain worms.
So I share my story from a brilliant woman on Monday night that informed us, through research; if you wear a bra, you will get cancer. And if women stop wearing bras, the cancer goes away. Where do people seriously come up with this stuff? I can thank the AntiChrist aka Bridget for that one. The AntiChrist bought this woman a beer on Monday night at the bar and we got stuck talking to this woman; similiar how we were stuck today in the HOV lane, with no where to go. The lady's dog was dying and she was at the bar drinking telling us medical discoveries.
It's been a fun week so far. Yesterday I had to drive because of the hockey game and it took me 1.5 hours. Today I learned about brain worms. And I took the wrong train because I wasn't paying attention. So I went through DC back to VA instead of bypassing DC. Yay for humpday.
This is my first ride where the driver is social; we actually talked. By the way, my car is outside the designated parking area and I hope that I do not get towed.
At the mixing bowl (halfway to the exit for the Pentagon), we see a sign that says, ALL LANES BLOCKED IN HOV AT 14th STREET. All Doom, All Gloom, you name it. I was already late for work, and now the fast lane will probably become a parking lot with no exits out.
So we are chatting and halfway there, he starts talking about a brain worm. Apparently if you eat uncooked pork you get brain worms. And then he shared a story where Jesus pulled a devil spirit out of someone and put it in a pig. And someone asks why he put it in a pig, and he said you're not supposed to eat things with hooves on it. So he was saying even Jesus knew back then eating pork was bad.
Because you could get brain worms.
So I share my story from a brilliant woman on Monday night that informed us, through research; if you wear a bra, you will get cancer. And if women stop wearing bras, the cancer goes away. Where do people seriously come up with this stuff? I can thank the AntiChrist aka Bridget for that one. The AntiChrist bought this woman a beer on Monday night at the bar and we got stuck talking to this woman; similiar how we were stuck today in the HOV lane, with no where to go. The lady's dog was dying and she was at the bar drinking telling us medical discoveries.
It's been a fun week so far. Yesterday I had to drive because of the hockey game and it took me 1.5 hours. Today I learned about brain worms. And I took the wrong train because I wasn't paying attention. So I went through DC back to VA instead of bypassing DC. Yay for humpday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)