White Knuckles

I got to the lot this morning and I see a Jaguar in the front, with a passenger. I give myself a mental fist pump and hope that he's going where I'm going.

He does! Another mental fist pump but as I get in, I notice how small it is. What is it with Jaguars and how small the interiors are? Isn't there a middle ground between American cars and Imports where there is a nice in between? American cars have the worst interior design known to man, and I think Jags are second worst. The back looked roomy but the front was a bit tight for me.

Then another dagger: No music. With a "luxury" car you get no exterior noise. What does this mean? Every little noise, grunt, sniffle; apparently my driver was a mouth breather. It took a whole two minutes before I couldn't take it anymore and grab my mp3 player to find out I grabbed the wrong headphones for it. They apparently fit my phone and apparently it only works in one ear.

After we jump on HOV, he jumps to the left immediately (with no cars around, behind or in front of us). So I'm thinking; oh geez, now I get to stare at everyone passing us on the right.

Annnnd I was right. One lady in a minivan almost took us off the road, and all this guy does? He flash beams her really quick like ten times. And in a Charles Heston voice, "IDIOTAS!" and then after I looked over, he bellowed a deep, "DIPSHIT!"; again in a Charles Heston voice. No other words were uttered. He was exercising his right as a slug participant to speak as few words as possible (to not encourage conversation in the car), to express his emotions. It was pure awesomeness.

I'm noticing also that he's keeping behind all cars 2.5 to 3 seconds, which is far apart for HOV standards. So people are passing us, and he beams a bus which obviously can't see anything. Why even bother beaming a bus?

As we pull off towards the Memorial Bridge exit, we see a Minivan pulled over. The same one that almost sideswiped us to get past us. She was the only passenger. Oh sweet justice.